Here's a story about a strawberry poison arrow dart frog named Chaw. Chaw lived in the rainforest and always had adventures with her friend Nationwoid, a purple ocelot. Nationwoid loved the jaguar named Wholesale Grain. Wholesale Grain lusted after Chaw and locked her in his apartment to try to harm her. So Chaw grabbed some poison off of her back and threw it at Wholesale Grain. Wholesale Grain was alive but shocked so he let Chaw go. He was about to be eaten by a wildebeast while in jail under the Amazon River but found redemption through Nationwoid's love. It all goes to show you that in America you eat celery, in Soviet Russia celery eats you.
Thus the story was written at 5:02 PM